Beginning of an end

I tis 4:30 in the morning! I have been up since 4, I just cannot sleep. It is hitting me that this is the "last" day of school. We are planning on going to Mass, having the final awards ceremony, a pilgrimage through the school, burying of the time capsule, and then time for the kids to just hang out and have fun. My class is taking this time well because they have a place to go next year. To many of them this is just one school that they have gone too. To some it has been their home away from home. Many of the teachers have been there for 30 years, 20 years, 10 years, or they have just begun.

My classroom is empty. I have one more trip to take of boxes and a bookshelf to the grandparent's garage. The decorations are down, desks are empty with no names on them, and all the textbooks are boxed.

Yesterday as we were trying to have some fun with the kids, another school came in to take all of the technology equipment. They could not wait until we were out. Then another couple came in who is leasing a room (for another church or something)... and wanted to see something. Everyone kept trying to explain that the children are still here, they are not STAND approved and it is just inappropriate on so many levels. They are taking the rug out right from under us. Out with the old and in with the new. There is obviously no time for closure. It just SUCKS!!

So now I have to get ready for the end to a wonderful chapter of my life. I have no job lined up for next year which makes things worse. It is like your life is changing without your permission and there is nothing you can do about it. I keep telling myself, I did nothing wrong to deserve this...none of us have. Although we did find out Saturday that they have known for a year we were closing. GEE they could have told us a while ago, but why would we be Christian about that.

I am angry on so many levels and sad too (not a good combination I suppose), so here is to Zoloft and what looks like a crappy day!!